I'm coming home!

So this is probably going to be more of a shock to me than to you guys but I'm finishing my year volunteering over the 8 months mark and coming home. This year has been something else, some of the things I've got to see are phenomenal, and some of the poverty I've got to live in is horrendous. This years definitely tested me, you go from high to low so easily, the country does that to you.

As much as I can't stand the feeling that I'm giving up and not finishing the year, I feel like it's time to return. It's not been the year I expected, and it was highly naive of me to ever believe that such a perfect year was possible. Projects aren't always going to work out, and in my case they didn't, my heart lies with my children and the city of Trujillo, the memories I have from there are completely unexplainable. 

Returning home ill was a huge deal, I hadn't even thought about the possibility of that happening which made it all more surreal, but I did it. That might sound like a piece of cake but it wasn't. I had to leave the year abroad that I had been planning for the previous two years of my life, and also leave my home that I made in Trujillo. Returning back out was potentially even harder, travelling with my family was amazing, it was so lovely to share that experience with them in Peru. However once they left it was hard, I had already gotten used to life in the UK again and it took re-adjusting and then the homesick waves all over again. Plus the fact we couldn't get to our project for three weeks whilst stuck in the sweltering heat of Piura, taking a ridiculous amounts of bucket showers each day and going to the cinema hundreds of times added to it. But I did it. 

We got to the new project in Lima a few weeks back and it was like a whole other world to what I was used to. It was a private orphanage rather than a government one so very different. We worked over 13 hours a day, and it was all so regimented that it kind of felt like an prison at times. I basically wasn't happy there which would have been fine, but I also didn't feel like I was making a difference, rather just being in the way instead. I came away to have the chance to grow bonds and help in a way that I was good at, however I wasn't allowed to express my creativity there, it was such a strict regime, no arts and crafts or fun, no piano keyboards allowed, not what I had imagined or been told to expect.

I'm not ashamed of not finishing my time here in Peru, I'm proud that I even had the balls to come out in the first place. I gave everything to my first half the year and the kids in Trujillo and leaving was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I just don't know if I'm ready yet to get so close to people to tear it down again. I cried on my first day at the new project as one of the babies reminded me of Ricardo and it was just too much.

 I also need the NHS, AGAIN, it's been a darn shame that the year when I really need amazing medical attention I'm away from it all. Your health has to come first in every situation and I've definitely learnt this over the past year. Doctors appointments are already booked.  I may come back out to travel at the end of the year, I may not. All this decision making so far in advance is silly, you never know when you're going to change your mind. 

I'm really wanting to volunteer again, but once I'm refreshed and over this experience, rushing things too soon doesn't get you anywhere. So yeah, I'm currently sitting in Lima airport walking around like a nutter trying to find wifi, but strangely enough I feel so different to last time. I feel like I've accomplished something! A part of me will always remain here in Peru and as hard as it is, it's amazing. I will write explaining things in detail when I have chance but right now I have a flight to catch, very sudden decision and that why I haven't told anyone. 

See you all soon!! 

UK, Travelling and change of projectsss

So since last writing I’ve been back to England, returned back to Peru, travelled with my family and met up with the other volunteers again- whattttt. Really have no clue where to start this or what to say so I’ll start from the beginning.

Returning to England was crazy emotions for me, it didn’t click till I was landing back at Newcastle airport watching videos of my Peruvian babies what was really happening, and I kind of freaked since I really hadn’t prepared myself for it all happening so suddenly. After realising I was going to see my family again I got really nervous excited like a little child on Christmas eve, only to walk out the gate and see no one there. Puzzled I tried to connect to the internet on my ipod since I didn’t have a phone but the battery on the ipod had died, so I was just waiting. Around 20 minutes later I saw Mum and Dad coming over with tears in their eyes; the feeling of people caring about you to that extent is something I will never take for granted again! Joe and Lynz were there to surprise me but Dad let the cat out of the bag and said they were around the corner, it was so lovely to be back with them all again drinking tea and eating a banana, but so surreal that for once in my life I think I may have been lost for words hahaa.

The next week was filled with so many doctors appointments to find out what was wrong, leaving me on a waiting list to get a camera up my nose to see the damage. The date I was given for the camera was just before I was due to return back to Peru so I ended up going privately with the financial support of my family which I am so grateful for. They diagnosed me with all these big worded things so I’m going to break it down for you. My nose bone is a bit deformed and due to this my tissue has swelled up to protect it, meaning that the stuff that’s meant to come out your nose couldn’t, so it dripped down into the back of my throat instead. This leaves you with a feeling you’re always choking and blocked, almost unable to breathe, depending on how severe it is. They gave me stuff to sort it and a nose spray to make it all thinned but in the short term there wasn’t more that could be done, just learning ways to make it better.

It’s ridiculous that something as simple and relatively easily controlled as that could make you feel so bad.  Piece of advice, don’t bad mouth the NHS because until you’re in a situation where you don’t have it on your door step you don’t realise how bloody good it is.

So since I was starting to feel better I became slightly less of a social hermit and started seeing people. My family have been amazing, we’ve been over the immediate few but my Nephews, I don’t even have the words. I had missed the little munchkins so bloody much it was like a God-send, such a lucky Auntie. Plus my Sister, she has been amazing through the whole situation and it was so lovely being back with my girl again. Then all my Grandparents and Sheffield family too, it’s strange as it felt like nothing had changed since I left in that aspect which was such a homely feeling. Also my friends, this was complicated as loads of them were at Uni or I wasn’t feeling up to going out all the time, and it’s lovely knowing some of my closest friends who I haven’t really spoken with whilst I was away were there talking just like the old days.

There were some days at home that I was rather down as I couldn’t stop thinking about my Trujillo children and how things were never going to be the same without them! For someone who never used to cry this got me a lot, I would see photos the tias had posted and wished more than anything that I could have been there to share their memories, but I couldn’t even if I still was in Peru.

However I was so lucky to be home for Mums birthday, Bens birthday, and in some respects my own too. Such big family times like that are times when you do miss home, but being back in the UK, I didn’t have to, as with the support of everybody I got to be there and have those memories.

Anyway I’ll stop boring you with personal things and move onto travellingggggggggggggggg:

So my family had always planned to come and visit me at the start of March or late February, so that’s when I flew back out with them. The goodbyes in England weren’t anywhere near as bad as last time, partly as I had already done it once, and secondly as it was only for less than half the time we initially thought. The family were all flying premium class on the way over and Dad talked the man into giving me a free upgrade so I enjoyed the nice way of travelling for nothing, not bad since I was going to be sat next to a Peruvian man who appeared like he was going to hum the whole time hahahaa. 

On arrival to Lima we went to the luggage carousel, waited and waited, only to realise that our luggage didn’t make it, along with another half of the plane. This involved waiting in a huge queue, somehow ending up at the back because of me, to be told they didn’t really know when it was going to get there. Lovely way to start the trip. After a warm nights sleep we set off in Lima to try and find some new clothes to keep us going till the cases arrived, this proved difficult for dad as he is so tall and the Peruvian men are so short that nothing was long enough!! It was a shame as this wasn’t the way I would have like them to be introduced to Peru.

As a group we stood out like sore thumbs, people usually stare at me alone but a whole family, people were even taking photos, leading to arguments as I’m not a fan of that hahaa. Anyway the next day we moved onto TRUJILLO!!! I was so so so happy to be back where I had been living for 6 months, and with my family too, that just topped it all off. We got a taxi to the hotel (with no luggage still) and settled in before trying to ring more people about the cases when the phone rings. The man from reception tells me “The Sharif has arrived” which was hilarious- how very proper. So I rushed downstairs to see my gurl again and there she was! After 5 weeks apart it was nice to be reunited in our city. We spent 5 nights in Trujillo which I loved, but for Mum and Dad it meant a lot of time ringing people trying to find out where our luggage was, which is a shame being half way across the world and having such a laborious task. We took the family to all the local places we used to go to every weekend as it was amazing, I think they were very shocked to start with but seemed to love every place, even the mental markets with people constantly shouting “Gringos” meaning white people all the time.

Me and Amber went to see the aldea again and bloody hell, the feeling of being reunited with my kids was phenomal. Sadly for them they still hadn’t moved into the new aldea, however it is good as, if they had, I know fine well I wouldn’t want to leave. They hadn’t changed at all but they all looked so bored, they were coming to the end of their 3 month holidays and that’s usually when the volunteers are most useful keeping them busy, but that didn’t work this year, must have been very difficult for them all. 2 days later we took my family there too, we were introduced to the new Director who seemed very serious which is good, then we all went to see the kids who were all getting their hair cut ready to go back to school. The language barrier with the family was a bit of an issue but they seemed to make bonds with them in other ways. We had brought out hundreds of loom bands and they went CRAZY. It was adorable, they all sat around a giant table outside and were so happy to have something so small it made my heart melt. I think the kids loved the family after them bringing over something for them! Joe and little Fatima grew a bond which was so cute, shows that language doesn’t have to be such a big factor in certain circumstances.

The rest of the time there was spent visiting the Chan Chan ruins, Mum falling over (sober) and me thinking she had been attacked, getting our cases back with the help of the embassy finallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Then having our favourite food at the most amazing restaurant we found. We ended up eating there every night but one, so many games of Uno hahaaa.

It was quite a refreshing trip going back and seeing the kids but it wasn’t as sad leaving this time, probably as we were heading to Ollantaytambo. This involved flying to Lima, then Cuzco then getting a 2 hour bus to the prettiest little place I’ve been to yet in Peru. There was a little square with cute little restaurants all with open fire pizza cookers mmmm. After a cute night and a lovely night sleep all with a double bed each might I add, we got up very early and boarded the train for Machu Picchu. Mum and Dad really had gone all out and were taking one of the nicest ways to get there, something I wouldn’t have been able to afford to do if I was travelling there alone at the end of the year. It had a glass roof and you could just see all the mountains around you, felt like I was in a different world. Joe unfortunately ended up sitting opposite the most annoying American couple ever, they just couldn’t keep themselves off each other or chatting shit, why would you pay so much to see such beauty and not even make the most of the situation?? Crazy man. When we got there you had to get a half hour bus even higher, then do a half hour walk to the top. So proud of Mum for managing with her foot. At the top the views were breathtakingly beautiful, no photo can do justice to what we saw. The walk around the place was lovely but very very busy, even with alpacas blocking the paths. Me and Amber did an extra bit of the walk and of the steps down there was no side to them, basically if you fell you could probably die… we ended the day with a Peruvian buffet at the top which was well needed. We then headed back down, spending 3 hours in a bar playing uno watching the river, market shopping, getting another stunning train with hilarious entertainment, then a very sleepy meal before passing out. The day was incredible and I got to spend it with the best people, so lucky to have such an amazing family.

The next day we headed back up to Cuzco which is 3,400 metres above sea level, the altitude was definitely an issue. The place itself was beautiful but very touristy with people constantly trying to sell you stuff. The apartments we stayed in were something else, they don’t seem like they could be from Peru at all hahaaa. The days were very chilled but we went on a bus tour and saw the Cathedral in the centre, such a lovely place. We also tried Guinea Pig which I can finally say tasted horrible, not only was it served very visually, but the thing itself has hardly any meat on it, and the little bit it did have was painful to the taste buds, I wouldn’t say it is on my list to recommend to people. Everyone was a bit sick due to the altitude when we were there, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t have some of the best days of my life there!!

The last part of the holiday was spent in Lima, after a big argument on my behalf with the apartment man, who had sent a tiny car for 5 of us, and suitcases, meaning Amber had to sit on my knee for the journey over, finally though, we could finally start enjoying it. Here we did 2 bus tours, oh how very  touristy hahaa. The one around Lima was amazing, we got to go into the Catacombs or however you spell them and see what it used to be like. The weather was lovely but not too hot so we spent a lot of time down by the sea eating and drinking at restaurants playing Uno, really enjoyed the company. Sadly Joe and Dad were both sick so we ended up spending a bit of time just chilling in the apartment buts that’s meant to be what part of your holiday is about, can’t say I didn’t enjoy a few films on Netflix here and there hahaaa.

I got a bit down towards the end of the holiday but I think that was just because I was leaving my family again after almost 7 weeks together including travelling and I wasn’t going back to the place I love, I had no clue what the place I was going to was going to be like. Looking back I wish I hadn’t had a sour mood at all but that can’t be changed, I’ve definitely become a more emotional person since leaving the UK 7 months ago. Thankfully I have the most amazing family who understood that, which I’m truly grateful for. So another sad goodbye at the airport to the 3 of them going our different ways, but nowhere near as bad as last time. I am so happy that they came out to see such an amazing country and I got to spent all that extra quality time with them, some of the best memories of my life.

Me and Amber got a flight up to Piura and were finally reunited with Danny and Laura, the other volunteers in Piura. This was so lovely and they had made a big sign which they had up waiting for us outside the airport, so so thoughtful. We had a big catch up over frozen maracuya juice which continued back at their aldea. The next day we went to El Mirador which is a big outdoor water park, even thought I didn’t see the water until I had left hahaha. We chilled in the sun, got lunch, then basically listened to the live band for the whole afternoon, before heading to the cinema to see Focus which was such a good film. It was so nice keeping busy as deep down I am homesick, I have spent so long with my family, I was worried that they would struggle once I came back, but in reality it’s the other way around. It hasn’t helped that we haven’t been able to get the bus to the new project due to the rain and won’t be able to go till tomorrow at the earliest, this is nearly a full week just being useless not having a clue what these kids are like, so not knowing what I have to look forward to. 
I know I will be fine as I have done this once so I can do it again, but going home really made me realise how amazing my family are and how much they do for me. Just the simple feeling of a hug or a small gesture of coming home with chocolate is really something we all take for granted and it’s taken me a long long time to realise that. I know once I’m at my project this will all be behind me as I will be so busy and be feeling so useful which is what I came here to do, but homesickness is a big thing and something I never thought I would have an issue with.

So since writing this over another week has passed and still no bus to the project due to the rains, and lack of any transport being able to move, meaning we have been crashing at the aldea in Piura the whole time. To fill the days we did a quick boarder run to Loja, Ecuador which was an amazing city, wish I got to spend more time there but it was so expensive as it was in dollars, and our money is not going too far, as we are having to spend on food and accommodation that we wouldn't have been had we managed to get to the new project.

But yeah due to the rain and other reasons, we are now moving to another project to join one of the volunteers in Lima as we do not know when the bus will run again. The place is on the outskirts of Lima so nothing like the centre but the project looks amazing. We cannot start there till the 6^th so have to wait another week, all out of our control and we're not happy about it. But yeah, I will give you more information nearer the time but a bit of exciting news one could say!

Sorry for the awfully long blog and the lack of photos, it should really be split up into 3 posts but too late now, maybe read it in small doses hahaha! All my love to everyone back home, all such amazing people!!

I'm coming home- temporarily!

So Christmas and New year have both passed since I last wrote anything, oops.

The children have been so lucky with the Christmas parties people have thrown for them. The first few weeks of December there was around a party a week where people from Trujillo would bring them all presents, hot chocolate and paneton: an attempt of a cake which is just bread filled with strange fruit. As the weeks got closer to Christmas the more parties happened each weekend, and by the time it was Christmas they had 5 parties in the space of two days. Since it's the second biggest city in Peru there are a lot of people willing to offer their time and money to help the kids which is amazing. However despite this it was still difficult to get into the Christmas spirit when it was boiling outside. 

We made the kids presents too, my mum and sister sent over around £40 so we went a bit crazy in the market. We bought huge bags of sweets which we shared between them all, got everyone a ball of string for making bracelets, or doing whatever they fancy with it, got all the girls nail polish, and all the boys a packet of cards. Then for the babies a different toy each, along with the sweets of course. We gave these out on Christmas Eve dressed in the Christmas tops my mum sent over, and the kids loved them, since it wasn't just a generic present that someone had been given an age and gender to buy for. It was personal as we know them. 

That night we went over to casa dos and snuggled up on the sofa watching the Polar Express and Home Alone, this was adorable. At 10pm they had Christmas dinner which consisted of a chicken leg, chips and salad, very different but I must say, rather enjoyable. This was followed by a cup of peach with juice, sparklers in the house, then everyone running outside at 12 to wish each other a Merry Christmas. 

Christmas morning we woke up to a Spanish Michael Buble Christmas song and opened the presents we had bought for each other, followed by the parcels some family members sent over- so grateful! The day itself we spent at Huanchacho, the beach, treating ourselves to a chocolate cafe lunch accompanied by sangria mmm. A few hours of the day were spent chatting to family before having a giant fish for tea, a few bottles of wine and heading out the the local pub. It didn't really feel like Christmas but it was such a good way to spend it.  

Things at the Aldea haven't been going particularly well during this time due to circumstances out of our control. If you've read my past posts you will know about our living situation, having a tiny room with nowhere to do activities, well everyone still expects us to be the exact same as volunteers from the past years, even thought this is impossible with what we have been given. We tried everything to attempt to teach the children the skills and qualities we came here to do, but it's turned out impossible. There have been minor achievements, for example Estrella finally saying please now without always having to be told, which is amazing knowing we have taught her something that's necessary in life!! But on a grander scale we are not helping in the way we had hoped, and the Tia's and Tios have noticed the differences and very bluntly told us. After chatting to Felicity, our desk officer, about this, Project Trust decided this wasn't a suitable project to be run until the new houses were sorted out. We were lucky that they had a new project ready which was meant to start this September in Peru. It's in Huarmaca, the region on Piura, 10 hour bus journey up a mountain in a small town. The Aldea itself looks amazing but we're aware how difficult the change over is going to be from living in the second biggest city in Peru to a rural location. After much debating we saw that we could be making such a difference here in comparison to what we are doing at the moment, but the thought of leaving my babies and children makes me sick to the stomach. 

Travelling: 

We travelled up to Piura and the girls from Caravelli were there too- we got to watch Danny kill a duck and the blood splattered everywhere, it was interesting seeing that the kids knew how to do this and pluck all the feathers. 

After a sweaty walk to the bus station we all headed to Mancora, aka Zante. I was expecting a nice beach with a bit of night life but it was far from what I thought! Since we booked the hostels so late we went to Camping Tito which involved pitching tents on the beach. This was a rather interesting way to start the year since they were three man tents, three people in each, but our bags were all the size of people. We soon got back into the lifestyle of drinking lots and it was hilarious. We welcomed the New Year in on the beach, surrounded by hundreds of people, with fireworks and music- couldn't have wished for it to be any better. 

New Year's Day we spent on the beach, with nearly everyone leaving with a shitty sunburn- typical. 

A few days later we headed up to Ecuador, the bus service was hilarious, we started in a combi, got moved into a bus, then stopped at the corner of the road in Ecuador and got into another bus. 

The border crossing was mental, six hungover girls waiting five hours in the blazing heat could never really go too well. We went up to Cuenca which was so different to Peru, it was so built up and reminded me a lot of Europe, quite a nice change but it made me realise how much I love Peru. There was a restaurant on the corner called Blue Mondays which became a local, they served food like burgers and pizza which is so hard to find in South America usually, unless you're willing to pay an extortionate price. The food was so different, we had tapas, Italian and even a curry, that's right, a curry. Suffice to say were definitely not used to that type of food anymore, only rice.

We went to a stunning national park, it was so high up so the air was really thin, but it was so chilled walking in such a stunning place with peace.

 Once the Caravelli girls headed back home we decided to take a cheeky trip to the hospital as I had been coughing up blood. I've been ill pretty much since we got here and nothing seems to be budging it but this was a new extreme. After a consultation in Spanish, with the help of a very fluent Laura, I was sent for a chest X-ray which thankfully turned out clear, so I got told to go for another consultation with a doctor the next day. There was a two hour wait in the queue but I was prioritised so didn't have to wait to long. After testing my breathing his advice was "wait another four months and if you're still ill then go see another doctor!", oh and don't drink cold drinks. How lovely. So as any sensible people would, we found a private doctor who could speak fluent English and went to see him the next day. The conclusion was that I had a chest infection and parasites, which go through your intestine and cause an infection in your lungs. Four days later things had only got worse so he sent me for more chest X-rays and a CT scan of my head- after ring ripped off by a local X-ray service pretending to be a place they weren't. The doctor looked them over and said it might be severe sinusitis. So I'm currently being treated for that but nothing seems to be changing. Since we don't have a home in Trujillo anymore, and the one we did have was on a building site, it means that I can't stay there till I get better. 

However after chatting to the doctor it's obvious I  can't move to the new project at Huarmaca till my health is sorted due to the altitude up there and my asthma. So after days, weeks even, of being tormented not knowing what to do, we were given our options. For Amber it was go to Huarmaca or wait to see if it's possible to join another project, this potentially could take a month or so, and for me living in a hostel paying for accommodation and food till I potentially get better, or coming home temporarily to an amazing health service to get better before heading back out to join Amber- crazy right! This has by far been the biggest and hardest decision I've ever had to make, but I'm coming home for just over 5 weeks and flying back out with my family when they come to visit, with the hope that I'll be on top form and can go join Amber, who is being brave and going to this new project alone till I join her, and then I should be able to spend the next five months helping these kids the way I thought I would be. The thought of this petrifies me, I mean it'll be lovely to see my family and friends again, but I'm now used to, and loving, a very very different culture, lifestyle and climate. Things are going to be so different and I know fine well I've changed a lot since I left, so people will have different views of me to. It's going to be a hell of a lot harder than leaving England was and I still don't think I've fully thought of what's going to happen on my return. But in the bigger picture I came out here to help and make a difference, and by staying in a hostel paying for a health service which is good, but a very long way from ours in the UK, it would probably lead to me getting very lonely and taking a much longer time to find out what the hell is wrong with me, and then maybe not being able to finish this year off as I planned. Whereas by coming home, I can hopefully talk to an experienced doctor and get this behind me as quickly as possible so I can go back to my favourite place and be on top form to help these children. I haven't even gone home yet but I already miss so much about this place and the people here which will only become a stronger emotion whilst away, but hopefully this will make me make the most of everything when I come back in a way I may not have been doing. I don't know really but this is 100% not what I expected from this year, but shitty things like this happen and can't be helped, I'm extremely lucky my family are willing to support me money wise in getting home, even though I was thrilled that I've not had to scrounge a penny off them yet this year. I'm hoping in the long run my insurance will cover it, but immediately without their help I would be waiting this illness out alone in Peru. I think if I was on my deathbed this wouldn't even be questioned, but the fact that I'm just constantly coughing up disgusting stuff which is a vile concept, turns painful and very inconvenient, means I can get on with daily life, just with this looming over me, something causing me to rip the back of my throat from coughing so much- this was the blood, thankfully nothing internal. 

My emotions are everywhere, leaving my Trujillo family behind, going to join my family back home, then coming back and making a totally new family in Huarmaca. Things have just happened so quickly but once I manage to man up a little bit I'll realise that it's only temporary and things will be normal again. Oddly, really sadly,  I'll end up spending my birthday at home, now this will be lovely but we had it all planned, the girls from Piura and Lima were coming up for the weekend to celebrate, but hopefully we will do this when I come back instead! So yeah see you all on Sunday, can't believe I'm saying that hahaaa...

So back to travelling, the rest of the trip with before the Piura girls left was all doctor related and eating. We went out for drinks one night and they shut the bar and made everyone leave but we got to stay and abuse the bar making ourselves drinks. That's one if the great thing about being gringas in a foreign country! 

Once the girls left it was just me and Amber waiting for another doctor trip. We decided to do what tourists are meant to and head on a bus tour. We found this hysterical but it actually turned out really good. We went up to this beautiful church at the top of the city so for an amazing view of it all, with the mountains in the background. It was stunning. The next day we went to thermal baths but ended up choosing the luxury option and it was basically a spa day. There was an outdoor thermal pool, saunas and a mud bath which was very strange, the scenery in the city is just mental! 

After we headed across to Guayaquil which is the biggest city on Ecuador which was sooo built up. We went on a proper motorway for the first time since being in Peru, which may sound like nothing but I didn't know what to do with myself. It definitely felt like a bit of mild culture shock being in a place which reminded me of the UK, nothing like Peru at all. It is bloody boiling here, like it's above the equator line so it's to be expected. Because of this we did do stuff but we're always desperate for our airconed hostel. Despite the heat we went to Los Penos which is 500 steps up, but the whole way up there are houses, shops and restaurants which were so lively and lovely. At the top you got an amazing view of the city and the hill opposite filled with colourful houses- I've not done a great job of explaining but it was phenomenal, it was so hard leaving haha. 

There was also an iguana park where you were walking around and there was just shit loads of iguanas everywhere, some the size of 5 year old children. Here I learnt that iguanas don't have teeth, when you look at them they can seem like such scary things but in reality they so chilled. 

To be fair travelling itself was like a holiday, rather than cramming every day in doing stuff and tiring us out, we did little bits but just loved having English banter with more than one person; it's stupid how much I took for granted being with a group of people with the same mother tongue before I came away! It was such an amazing feeling coming back into Peru, like going back to our house after a holiday that was just a bit too long. 

At the Aldea we spoke to the Director to tell her what was happening and it was really sad, she was so apologetic and devastated that we were leaving, as we are too. Now telling the kids was another thing, we told Jose first who has turned into one of our closest friends, he was gutted. He's the only older boy left in the Aldea so he only has us to talk to, plus he's hilarious, going to miss his abnormally large smile. Next it was Mirium and Janeth, I'm so close to both these girls don't quite know what I'll do without them around me all the time. Zarahi would have either gone mental, or laughed, thankfully she laughed and then asked for chocolate, not too sure she quite took in what we were saying. And the next big person to tell was MarieLou, she's 11 and we lived with her for a long time and have eaten every meal with her since we for here- this was like having your heart strings pulled on seeing her face, knowing I felt the exact same way.

 It was all just a bit too much for us so we headed to Huanchaco to say our goodbyes there. Danny, the volunteer in Piura, came down to be with us which was so lovely, gutting that Laura had to work. We showed her around and decided, even though I knew it would make me a lot worse, to just have a night of drinking away everything. It was definitely needed! We got to show her round the city whilst constantly blabbing about how much we're going to miss it. Yesterday me and Amber got the bus back to the Aldea to finish packing and say our goodbyes. The packing wasn't fun, the room was like a sauna and just we just couldn't be bothered. We had lunch at casa dos, everyone had a group lunch outside but we just missed it:(  - after I took Jandy outside and she just sat on my knee on the swing. I had missed her soooooooo much whilst travelling, every day it got to me how much I wanted to see her. I'm so happy that we went outside, she giggled so much and I got a video so the memories don't fade! Blanca, the director, wanted to chat to us and turns out it was a set up, they gathered everyone outside to say farewells. There was a speech about us and it really made me want to never leave the place, we were then given a ring each as a memory, admittedly I shed a few years under my sunglasses but we both held it together pretty well. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tia's Margarita and Ester crying, these two women are hilarious, they're so short and some of the things they say amaze me, it was a really strange feeling knowing how much we meant to them to reduce them to tears! Even though we're visiting for 4 days in six weeks time it was still a huge thing, everyone was so lovely and the children, I can't even put it into words. I love them all so much, this is something that will get easier to live with but I'll never get over how much I miss them. 

Our goodbyes with the casa dos kids were emotional, Janeth wouldn't stop hugging me and admitted she loved me and would miss me which is a big thing coming from her, she's grown so much as a person since we got here and she wouldn't talk to us- so proud of her. MarieLou cried her little eyes out, along with me at the same time, it's like saying bye to your siblings but knowing it's forever... 

The two casa dos Tia's were both there when their shifts overlapped just before we left. We all had a chat in the house and we were all just in floods of tears. These women have done so much for me, they've been my second mothers while were been here, I didn't think I'd ever care about the Tia's that much but without them this experience would not have been the same. I cannot cannot cannot wait to see them again in six weeks! After crying we went and picked Jandy up and she just stared at us like so confused, Ricardo left while we were away to be with his family, I went to see Estrella and she was beautifully asleep in her cot, and Fatima didn't understand at all- my babies are my world, miss them an unbelievable amount already. 

I'm going to stop boring you all with detail but when leaving the Aldea in the taxi I wasn't really thinking about what had just happened. The first time I've thought about it is now and that's from a very distant view point, my mind has been like a giant black void, something I've mastered very well when being here. I'm currently sat in Lima airport waiting for my flight even though I'm five hours early, having said my goodbyes to Ceci, who owns the hostel we always stay at- she's also been a mother figure to us whilst we've been away, she told me she loved and would miss me, the feelings very mutual. Plus the goodbyes to Danny and Amber at the airport. My black void was on top form and nothing feels real, but I'm going to miss these girls like mad. Even though we would only see Danny and Laura occasionally I think it's just knowing how much distance is between us that makes it more surreal! Then Amber, obviously we have spent every day together for the past 5 months, you tend to get close to a person. I can already tell that as soon as I get home I'm going to miss her shit loads, so proud she's going up to the hills alone, excited to join her in 6 weeks time. 

I haven't thought about it yet but I know I'm exited to see everyone back home, I'm also excited to watch loads of new films on the flight! Even though this wasn't how I expected my year to turn out it's just a hurdle, I will get over this and it's something I'll be able to look back on and yeah. I know this post is everywhere, just like my head, and some of the stuff I have written I'll probably look back on and think shut the hell up being a soppy bugger Tory, but just my thoughts at the time. If you managed to make it this far then thanks for reading hahaaa! 

Te quiero trujillo y todo la ninos mucho.